Your guide to writing a heartfelt eulogy

Writing a eulogy can feel overwhelming. Finding the right words to celebrate a person’s life is an honour, but also a challenge while grieving, as this can be an important part of the farewell process.

To help guide you through this task, we spoke with Naomi Raymond, Professional Speech Writer and Founder of Speech Guru. With years of experience helping people express love, grief, and legacy through words, Naomi offers expert tips on how to write a eulogy that’s heartfelt, honest, and meaningful — even if you’ve never written anything like it before.

What is a eulogy?

A eulogy is a speech delivered at a funeral or memorial service that pays tribute to the person who has died. Typically given by someone who knew the person well, like a close family member, friend, or a mix of both.

A eulogy might touch on life milestones, but it’s often the personal stories and memories that have the most impact. Naomi explains: “Great eulogies are the ones that make us feel a range of emotions, not just sadness. They should highlight things like what the deceased most loved and cherished, what their most important values were, what made them light up, and their qualities that were most endearing to others.”

While it can feel daunting, Naomi encourages people to think of a eulogy less like a formal speech and more like a letter or conversation.

“It doesn’t need to be polished or poetic. Just sincere.” — Naomi Raymond

What are the ingredients of a great eulogy?

There’s no one-size-fits-all structure, but meaningful eulogies tend to be personal, honest, and thoughtfully organised. Here is some expert-backed advice to help guide your writing.

Speak from the heart

The most important thing? Sincerity.

“Write as if you’re speaking directly to your loved one or sharing your thoughts with a close friend.” — Naomi Raymond

If your voice shakes or you need to pause, that’s okay. It simply shows how much the person meant to you.

Focus on specific memories

You don’t necessarily need to summarise the whole life of your loved one. Instead, choose two or three moments or qualities that really capture who they were.

“The depth of a eulogy is in the details, and it’s what will make it authentic,” Naomi says.

Try reflecting on:

• What they were known for
• What lit them up
• How they made people feel
• The small things they did every day

The personal details, like their sense of humour, daily habits, or famous dinner party stories, are what resonate most.

Keep it structured

A clear beginning, middle, and end will help you stay on track. It also makes it easier for those listening to follow along, especially in an emotional setting.

“Structure helps with nerves and delivery. It keeps you grounded when emotions are high.” — Naomi Raymond

Think of your eulogy like a heartfelt letter:

• Start with an introduction
• Share two or three core memories or qualities
• End with a reflection, quote, or goodbye message

Aim for warmth, not perfection

It’s okay to include a light-hearted story if it fits the tone and reflects the person.

“A great eulogy celebrates both the joy and sorrow of a person’s life,” says Naomi. “Laughter helps us connect and find meaning through loss.”

Just make sure the humour comes from love, not embarrassment, and that it respects the mood of the funeral service.

Top expert tips for writing a memorable eulogy

Preparing a eulogy? Naomi shared a few practical tips to help people move past the blank page and start writing with confidence.

How to start a eulogy

Start by establishing who you are and setting a warm, sincere tone. Naomi recommends covering three key points:

• Introduce yourself and your relationship to the person
• Thank guests for being there
• Ease in with a gentle memory or light moment, if it feels right

“It’s a nice touch to include a light-hearted comment or meaningful anecdote to ease the emotional weight in the room and help you feel more composed,” Naomi says.

For example, an introduction might look like, "I see many familiar faces here today, but for those of you I haven’t met, my name is Sarah, and I’m Judith’s sister."

If you’re nervous, take a deep breath and imagine speaking to just one person who loved them too.

How to end a eulogy

The end of a eulogy is your final moment to honour your loved one and give the room a sense of closure and peace. Naomi suggests weaving in:

• What you’ll miss most
• A meaningful quote, lyric, or line
• A message of gratitude
• A gentle, heartfelt goodbye

“A thoughtful conclusion should feel personal and uplifting, offering a sense of closure while celebrating their life.” – Naomi Raymond

To help guide your writing, here’s an example of a thoughtful eulogy ending:

“Though I grieve the loss of my wonderful sister, I’m comforted knowing she lived her life to the absolute fullest. As Winnie the Pooh so aptly said, ‘How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.’ Judith, I love you. Thank you for the gifts you gave and the lessons you taught. You will remain in my heart always.”

How long should a eulogy be?

“A great eulogy doesn’t need to be lengthy to leave a lasting impact,” Naomi explains.

Aim for five to eight minutes, or about 500 to 800 words. That’s usually long enough to speak meaningfully without becoming overwhelming for you or the audience.

Focus on a few key stories or qualities and practice reading aloud to get a feel for the pace.

Example of a eulogy writing template

Need a place to start? Here’s a basic eulogy outline you can follow and make your own.

Introduction

• Welcome everyone
• Introduce yourself and how you knew the person
• Acknowledge how honoured you are (and how hard it is) to speak

Main body

• Share 2–3 personal memories, traits, or parts of your lost loved one's personality
• Talk about what they meant to others
• Reflect on what made them, them

Conclusion

• Express gratitude
• Offer a final story, quote, or message
• Share what you’ll miss most

Planning ahead

Writing a eulogy is one of the most emotional things you may ever do — but it’s also one of the most important. Naomi puts it best:

“Speak from the heart, and let your words reflect your love and respect for the person being celebrated.”

If you’re thinking ahead about how to support your loved ones in the future, funeral insurance could help to reduce financial stress. It’s designed to help cover the costs of a funeral, so your family can focus on saying a heartfelt goodbye, not worrying about expenses.

At Choosi, we make it easy to compare a range of funeral insurance policies. Compare your funeral insurance options with Choosi and request a quote today.