Top 10 financial red flags in a partner that you can't ignore

Money can be a tricky subject in any relationship and it’s not always easy to spot subtle warning signs before they become serious issues. However, 'financial red flags' in a relationship can be damaging.

Recognising the signs early on can help protect your mental wellbeing, your wallet, and your long-term financial security. But what exactly is a financial red flag?

The Choosi Financial Red Flags report, breaks down the ten of the most common financial red flags you might find in a partner, that you probably shouldn’t ignore,

1. Spending more than they earn

A partner who can’t (or won’t) live within their means is one of the biggest finanacial red flags. It might start small, such as overspending on nights out or new clothes. But it can quickly spiral when credit card bills mount up, revealing your partner doesn’t know how to manage their money.

According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the average household debt has grown by 73% in the last 15 years, and over 4 in 5 Australians (82%) see overspending to match their peers’ lifestyles as a red flag. If this habit persists, you may be forced to cover basic expenses they can’t afford, or you could potentially face financial strain when trying to plan for the future or when making big life purchases.

What to watch out for:

• Regularly relying on credit cards and never paying them off in full or on time.
• Constantly juggling bills and borrowing money from others.
• Living paycheque to paycheque despite earning a stable income.

2. Avoiding open conversations about money

A partner who avoids talking about money may claim everything is “handled” while the reality could be very different. Transparency can be crucial in preventing financial insecurities in relationships, especially if you’re merging bank accounts, joint credit cards, or other assets.

According to the Choosi Financial Red Flags report, nearly seven in 10 Australians (70%) regard discussing finances with their partner as a green flag. Yet nearly one in five (19%) who see it as positive still fail to discuss money openly.

Similarly, nearly 3 in 5 (58%) identify being secretive about income or assets as a red flag, yet over 1 in 5 (22%) persist with this secrecy. Refusing to talk about debts or spending could be a sign of financial abuse or financial coercion, where one partner uses money to gain power over their partner.

What to watch out for:

• Evasive answers whenever you bring up finances.
• Refusal to disclose debts, spending habits, or long-term goals.
• Withholding money or not granting you access to bank accounts.

3. Making impulsive, irresponsible money choices

Does your partner suddenly invest large sums of money in high-risk assets or impulsively books expensive holidays? This can be a significant financial red flag.

Nearly 4 in 5 (78%) Australians see making investments without research as a red flag, and frequent reliance on 'Buy Now, Pay Later' is viewed as one, too, by almost half (47%).

These habits may point to deeper issues, such as ignoring household income constraints or neglecting savings for emergencies. Plus, these behaviours can leave you covering shared bills if reckless spending drains your partner’s funds.

What to watch out for:

• Large, risky purchases or investments without consulting you.
• Overdependence on 'Buy Now, Pay Later' services.
• Taking advice from social media 'finfluencers' without first seeking professional financial advice.

4. Showing a lack of financial independence

It’s natural for one partner to earn more than the other or to contribute differently to household finances. However, financial dependency (meaning total reliance on another person) can become a problem in certain circumstances, especially if it comes with controlling behaviour or a misalignment of opinions.

Over 1 in 2 Australians (56%) say having no financial goals is a red flag, yet around 28% admit to not having any themselves. This dependence may leave you vulnerable to economic abuse, especially if the relationship sours and one partner controls all the resources.

What to watch out for:

• No interest in finding or maintaining steady employment opportunities (depending on the circumstances).
• Repeatedly refusing any discussion about setting financial goals or budgets.
• Reliance on your income to cover all or most financial support needs without a plan or prior discussion.

5. Holding excessive bad debt

Debt alone isn’t necessarily a sign of trouble. But frequent late bill payments and maxed-out credit cards are clear warning signs. Over 9 in 10 Australians (81%) classify missing bill payments and maxing out credit cards as serious red flags, yet 1 in 4 (24%) still end up missing or delaying payments.

On the flip side, over 7 in 10 (72%) say paying above the minimum requirement on debts is a green flag. A financially abusive partner might expect you to bail them out repeatedly or even push you to take out loans (or even phone plans) in your name, leaving you to bear the financial burden.

What to watch out for:

• Hiding debts until they become unmanageable.
• Taking out new loans or credit cards without telling you.
• Pressuring you to take on loans or co-sign financial commitments on their behalf.

6. Telling lies or keeping secrets about money

Financial dishonesty can be harmful, which can break trust and security in any relationship. Nearly 4 in 5 (79%) Australians consider hiding spending, debts, or financial problems a top red flag.

If your partner has secret bank accounts or secretly takes out benefits such as child support, it could point to broader financial abuse. Lying about gambling or credit card debt can also lead to serious conflicts and an erosion of trust in the relationship.

What to watch out for:

• Bank statements that don’t match up.
• Sudden changes in behaviour, like getting defensive or angry about basic money questions.
• Evidence of extra credit cards or loans you never knew existed.

7. Controlling your finances

Financial control happens when one partner dictates another’s access to money or resources, possibly preventing them from working or monitoring their spending excessively.

Respect Victoria’s guidelines note that controlling behaviour may involve withholding funds or setting unrealistic spending rules.

More than 3 in 4 Australians (77%) view pressuring a partner to co-sign loans or share accounts prematurely as a red flag. If your partner won’t let you manage your own finances or demands receipts for every purchase, it could be a serious form of financial abuse, too.

What to watch out for:

• Strictly monitoring your purchases or requiring you to hand over receipts.
• Preventing you from attending important meetings about finances (for instance, property settlement or budget planning).
• Insisting all the household income be in their name, with limited accountability.

8. Borrowing money repeatedly from loved ones

We all hit bumps in the road and need help paying bills sometimes. But if a partner continually borrows from friends, parents, or other family members, especially without repaying them, it could be a sign of poor money management.

More than 3 in 5 (63%) see asking friends or family for loans as a red flag. If your partner never repays borrowed money, that debt could also become your burden if you’re married or share finances, as well as cause strain on those cherished relationships with those friends or family members.

What to watch out for:

• Multiple or repeated requests for money from parents, siblings, or even other relationships.
• Unwillingness to formalise the loan in writing.
• Denying they owe money or refusing to talk about how they’ll repay it.

9. Their money values don't align with your own

Differences in money values can cause conflict over what’s worth spending on, how much to save, and whether to plan for long-term goals. 2 in 3 (68%) Australians consider reading and understanding financial terms a green flag, yet 31% don’t always do it.

If your partner dismisses the need for an emergency fund, insurance, or retirement planning, these opposing views could create recurring tension in everyday life. Over time, unresolved disagreements about saving and spending can erode trust and compromise your financial security.

What to watch out for:

• Dismissing your concerns about setting financial goals.
• Overspending on luxuries when you’re trying to build a safety net.
• Resisting conversations about planning for retirement or saving for safe and affordable housing.

10. Not splitting shared expenses fairly

Some couples split expenses equally, while others adjust according to individual incomes. Although there’s no one-size-fits-all rule, one partner outright refusing fairness can breed resentment.

The Choosi Financial Red Flags report indicates that 1 in 5 Australians (69%) say a partner, friend or date expecting you to pay for most things is a red flag, but 24% label this as a beige flag. If you’re always left handling rent or groceries, it may be time to address this imbalance.

What to watch out for:

• Never paying for groceries or utilities, despite comparable income.
• Expecting you to always fund getaways or entertainment.
• Claiming they “pay for other things” while contributing little overall.

Keep Reading: Learn about the benefits and empowerment that life insurance can provide.

Spotting financial red flags in a relationship involves recognising warning signs such as overspending, secret debts, or manipulative money control. Whether it’s significant debt, financial coercion, or mismatched money values, identifying these behaviours early can save you from serious stress.

If left unchecked, a financial red flag may lead to financial abuse, emotional abuse, and possibly an eventual loss of independence. If you suspect you’re experiencing financial abuse, reach out for help and consider seeking professional advice.

There are plenty of resources that cover topics like financial abuse and dealing with debt, which could help.

Finally, having the right safety net, including life insurance, is aone proactive way to protect your future. Choosi makes comparing a range of policies simpler, so you can find cover suited to your circumstances. When you have financial independence and a backup plan, it’s easier to recognise red flags and walk away from an unhealthy situation. Compare a range of life insurance brands with Choosi and take a meaningful step towards securing your financial future. You deserve a relationship rooted in trust, respect, and honesty – especially when it comes to money.